It's all a bit too easy......

I've had a weird day so far. Good and Bad.

Got up at usual time to the kids fighting....hahaha little buggers.
Jumped on the scales (which I try not to do during the week) and found I was down to 75.5kgs (lets hope that stays the same for next Monday's weigh in) and instantly I was elated to think I was still going down at a steady rate but scared at the same time.
Scared because really, it has all been a bit too easy in the last 6 months. Yes I know I have had a major operation which is suppose to drop weight at the speed of light BUT it doesn't seem to matter what I do (good or bad) I still lose a decent amount of weight and I KNOW it is all going to come crashing down soon.

My eating and exercise has been so relaxed that I am now not worried if I have protein with one of my meals or don't go for a walk etc because I'm going to lose weight anyway............BAD WAY TO THINK but true unfortunately.

Even sitting here now, after eating 4 x vitaweats with ham and cottage cheese plus 1/2 a pump bottle of water I feel like I'm 'cheating' somehow.

When I first had the op, I made sure I had all the right food in the house, every meal was lovingly made with the correct amount of protein etc. I stuck to the rules (ie. no drinking 30 mins before or after a meal) and was even exercising more often than not. Now I'm leaving meals to the last minute and then just throwing anything together which I can usually eat but doesn't have the correct amount of substance in it to keep me going to the next meal. I am living on coffee only (and bourbon hahaha) and haven't been drinking my water and exercise consists of walking to the car and back *sigh*.

Trying to think WHY, I have come up with a major that I think is the answer.
For the past 25 years I have constantly been on a diet, constantly thought about food, constantly felt guilty when I ate something I shouldn't because I knew it was going to put weight on. Now I realise I have been having a mini holiday of the mind. I haven't had to worry about any of that really because no matter what I eat or don't eat, I'm still in the honeymoon period and won't put any weight on - in fact, I'm still going to take it off.

So what am I doing about it?

I went to get the grocery shopping this morning and restocked my cupboards with the food I should be eating and preparing for myself and my family and it felt good.
I also went into Farmers (department store) and looked for a pair of 3/4 black pants for work and a pair of jeans and I got both in a SIZE 12.........SIZE 12. Major incentive!

I can honestly say that I can NOT ever remember being in a size 12 - EVER. I'm sure I must of when I was young (like 12 or 13 maybe) but never as an adult and I nearly started crying right there in the changing room. I also had a blouse that was a size 14 that also fit...........OMG, OMG, OMG!!!

That's when the lightbulb went on and I decided I liked being this size and I wasn't going up another size - so I'd better get my ass into gear and make sure that happens. I also reckon that even though I'm losing weight, I could be losing it quicker if I stick to the 'rules' and do what I know I'm suppose to be doing.

Right I know what to do, its just a matter of doing it now!

RANK AND BABBLE OVER........sorry.