Feeling more positive

Sat down and thought about what gives me inspiration and the short answer is - Bloggers.

I am trying to get back into reading (and commenting) more often as I love the support blogging gives me, so I try and give a bit of that back.

I weighed in at 107.2kgs yesterday (Monday morning) and was obviously horrified but optimistic.

I know how to lose the weight and I WILL - End of Story!
I have quite a few big events coming up (Husband's 40th, Husband's school reunion, my 40th, sister's 50th, Mum's 70th and my babies 5th birthday in 2 months) and I want to feel good about myself, have photo's taken without cringing and enjoy myself.

I've decided the best way to do this will take 3 initial steps, first of all STOP BOOZING. I have gotten into a really bad habit of having a couple of drinks most nights and then a couple more on the weekend. I love wine but it doesn't love me so I went back to my original love (bourbon & coke) and it is FULL of sugar plus I can drink TONNES of the stuff.

Second thing is reduce my carbs - mainly BREAD! This is my biggest challenge as I am married to the ultimate BREAD MAN and I seem to be surrounded by bread (fresh, grainy, yummy bread) all day, everyday. This is going to take strength.

And thirdly I need to start doing some form of exercise - anything at the moment will be better than nothing. I have my beloved treadmill sitting here which I really want to get on but am too damn lazy so I figure I will just have to play with the kids more in the backyard to start with until I lose a bit of weight and feel like I can do more than 4 minutes on the damn thing (sounds like an excuse but that's how I'm feeling at present).

I figure if I just set myself 3 things to do, it won't kill me........right?

I'ts now Wednesday morning (12.05am) and since I started this post Tuesday night, I'd better get my butt into bed.

FEELIN GREAT, FEELIN POSITIVE, LONG MAY IT CONTINUE.

Night night.........

Whoa is me update

Shit March 12 was the last time I updated - SLACKER!

It amazes me that I have to hit rock bottom (or very close to it) before I get myself into action to lose this bloody weight. I jumped on the scales this morning 106.7kg....HELL. What was it, 3 years ago when I hit 110kgs that I couldn't take it anymore and lost the weight (got down to 86.3kg) and now I've managed to creep back up to 106.7kg *sigh* man this weightloss stuff sucks eh?

I know where I'm going wrong (food basically and the shit I'm eating plus the alcohol doesn't help either - oh and don't forget NO EXERCISE) and I know how to lose weight (I've done it dozen's of times) but I just don't. Its very frustrating because I know I can do it (again - I've done it a thousand times) but I just don't ----- why?

When I do get to a weight I'm proud of (with still more to go) and I'm feeling really good about myself I relax and relaxing for me equals trouble. I love it when I'm eating healthy and exercising (mainly because I can exercise and don't feel like a total blob) but I just don't seem to be able to hang onto that feeling.

STORY OF MY LIFE.

I really don't know what to do with myself. All the goals I set myself just disappear and I don't care. I don't know how to stop this yoyo dieting or 'lifestyle change' as alot of people like to call it but basically its dieting for me because I don't make a lifestyle change if I can go back to where I've come from.

Righto, I've finished feeling sorry for myself (for now), I'm going to look up my local weight watchers meeting and think about going back as the only time I lose any substantial amount of weight it is with weight watchers.

My Mum and two older sisters (all overweight) decided 5 weeks ago that we would all support each other and post our weights everyweek so we could see how we are going.
We all had a great first week but since then we have put on everyweek, my eldest sister has given up posting her weight all together.........wonder where I get this weight problem from...hahahaha.

On a brighter note, I have my mother in law (who I get on with famously) and 3 nephew's arriving tomorrow for a week (last week of the school holiday's) and I am looking forward to it as they are great kids (10, 12 & 16) and my mother in law is a fantastic cook and will hopefully give me a break over the week YAY.

Hubby and I get 3 days off a year with our business and 2 of them were Easter Friday and Easter Sunday, so we got our driver to work on Saturday and we headed off to Masterton to visit some old friends. We stayed at a fabulous revamped Solway Park Hotel which is very family friendly and apart from visiting our friend, we didn't leave the complex. There was a driving range (hubby was happy), a trampoline, indoor and outdoor pool (they only used the indoor - bit chilly), spa, games room (which was right next to the bar) and the room was 2 bedrooms with a kitchen and a TV in every room (kids loved it). I'll attach some photo's.

Apart from that it has been the same old thing up here. Loving the Hawkes Bay, loving our new lifestyle and very very happy (apart from the weight of course). Still getting lots of visitors but we love it.

The house is slowly getting donw (between visitors), we have now completed the tiles in the loo and all I need now is something to go up on the wall.
Dad's place has had the bathroom revamped (new floor, toilet and vanity) and just needs his bedroom recarpeted and that's him done.

Our kitchen is the next thing on the agenda but we have been putting it off as it is a major job and we know that once we start, we can't stop. The loungeroom is all done except for new curtains (I just haven't seen the perfect one's yet) and the hallway just needs some pictures or photo's up so it looks less boring.

Okey Dokey I'd better get myself off to bed, I'll just attach some photo's first.
Hope everyone is well, I try and get around to see how everyone is but I have been a bit slack.

Crikey its been forever

WOW I didn't realise it had been January since I last updated - what a slacker.

Weights up (103.9kgs putting me back to 29/12/08) which means I didn't get my new top when Mum was here from Oz.
I did however manage to raid her suitcase and found 2 new tops she had that I loved, so she let me have them......LOL.

I have had visitor after visitor and even though I do really love having people stay - I'M OVER IT!!

The last lot of guests (3 couples up from Wellington) came for the Lionel Richie concert at the Mission Estate Winery that got cancelled after us sitting in the pouring rain for nearly 2 hours. Mind you, we had had quite a bit to drink by them and had resigned ourselves to the fact that it didn't matter what we did we were soaked to the bone, so we actually ended up having a great time (even without Lionel). We ended up coming back home, had a huge feed of everything you could think of and then decided nightclubbing at midnight was a great idea..........ah NOT!

Apart from that there hasn't been a great deal going on, just the usual (kids to school, clean the house, data entry for a couple of hours a day blah blah blah).

Sorry this is such a boring post after such a long time....hahaha

I bought some weight watchers cereal and yoghurt (again) and am going back to basics with my food. The only way I have ever lost weight is on weight watchers (even at home by myself) so I will go back to the tried and true method.

Trying not to stress too much about it but am just soooooooo sick of being in this situation again this year when I promised myself I would be at goal and enjoying life now.

Andrew's 40th in August so I am going to try and lose as much as possible (not putting a number on it) by then.

Over and out.

Weigh in day - Day 14

101.4kgs which is a loss of 600grams this week.

How do I feel about that......*taps fore finger on chin* I dunno really???

Yes I lost 600 grams which is fabulous but I was mostly on par with my shakes etc this week and expected WAY MORE, anyway a loss is a loss is a loss....right.

So 1.8kgs down in the past fortnight.....excellent!!

My mate goes for her op tomorrow and I am thinking about her constantly *waves*.
She has done brilliantly on her pre-op diet for the past fortnight and just continues to blow me away.

Had more visitors leave today and then we should have another one on Tuesday (only for a day) and then nobody for a week and a half.

Adam went back to kindy today and was so excited as he has missed his mates.

Reece goes back next Monday and I am really excited as he is driving me nuts with his questions "what can I do now", "I'm bored", "when can I go back to school"....6 weeks is WAY too long a holiday for that one.

Anyway I can't hang around here all day, I have work to do.

Day 13 (of 14)

Ok the scales were back down a wee bit this morning (after my pill worked) so I'm pleased about that.
The weather has been really hot so I drank about 3 litres of water yesterday - no kidding!

We are having a BBQ tonight which is great because I'm ready for a nice big salad (which I haven't had for a few days) and a juicy piece of steak.....yum.

I have a 21st to go to tonight but I've bailed out as we have my father-in-law here (who was also invited) and we haven't seen him in 5 years so we really want some quiet time with him as he is leaving for Aussie tomorrow.
PLUS I am WAY PAST going to 21st, I enjoyed it in my 20's but now I'm nearly 40 I think I'll pass. There is going to be 70+ people and most of them (at least 50) are the birthday boys age....eeeek!

Another beautiful day in Hawkes Bay (30+ degrees) and I am very comfortable now walking around in singlet tops. I'm really pissed at myself that I haven't worn singlet tops for YEARS (since my early teens) because I had such a hang up on how big my arms were (still are but I don't really care now).
It is soooooooo much cooler than I expected and I am loving the extra variety I now have when I go shopping.

Right, there's vacuuming to do so I'm off (exciting eh?).

Day 11 (of 14)

Bloody scales were up 300 grams this morning - WTF?

This is getting harder and harder when I thought it would get easier.
When I did this the week before Xmas, I lost 2.7kgs in 1 week now I'm going to find it hard to hit 2 kgs in two weeks...grrrr.

Anyway I am feeling better in myself which is a bonus and I am definately more active.

Can't go to the loo again this week (happened about the same time last week) but I'm going to take something to 'help me along' this week as I feel horrile last week after 4 days.

Work is really busy at the moment as we are in a tourist town and everyone eats bread (our business) so we are busy busy busy which is all good.

I also had the neighbours kids (11, 8 & 5) today and they have just left and taken my kids with them (gotta love that) so I have a bit of peace and quiet which is bliss after having 5 kids in the house most of the day.

I got some chicken breasts for dinner which I'm going to have with some stir fry vege's (looking forward to that) and I've had my 2 shakes for the day.
My water intake has slacked off the last couple of days (its 2pm and I've only had half a litre today) so I need to get that back up.

Day 9 (of 14)

I've given myself a bit of a 'talking to' because I was letting a few little things creep in which is silly because I didn't need them but I was just being lazy.

I feel much better now and can't believe how well I can do when I focus.
I need to be super organised and its easy (well not easy but EASIER).

I've FINALLY been to the loo and feel a whole lot lighter which the scales are also telling me and I was 700 grams down from yesterday morning's weigh in.

I'm doing this 'shake' thing in support of a very good friend (which I have mentioned before) and I must say she is doing BRILLIANTLY and I am blown away by her dedication. Her mother (also another friend) is also doing it in support of her girl and is also 'creaming it'!.

Hi girls *big waves*, so excited for you.

Our visitors which were going to arrive yesterday (after our 1st lost of visitors left at 4pm last night) are now coming on Thursday which is great as it will give me a bit of time to get my house back in order before they arrive.

I took Reece out for the day today (Adam's turn tomorrow) and we did the usual McDonalds (him not me) and then he wanted to go shopping as he got some money from his cousin and Nanny in Australia he wanted to spend. He definatley takes after his Mum as we were out for about 3 hours going from shop to shop and he loved every minute of it. I'm taking Adam out tomorrow but he will walk into the 1st shop he see's, grab something and want to come home (just like his father..haha).

Right I've had over 2 litre's of water today and need to go to the loo again (visit 760) so I'll love ya and leave ya for tonight.

Weigh In (Day 8 of 14)

Weighed in at 102kg which is quite disappointing because I had gone under that weight during the week but I did loose the blot a bit over the weekend, mostly with drinking (wine not water). My eating wasn't too bad but I did skip a couple of shakes (with nothing to replace it) which didn't help plus I havent been to the loo for about 3 days. Plus NO EXERCISE FOR 3 DAYS.

BUT 1.2kg loss is still excellent and I will continue this week and hope for something similar.

Our Wellington visitors leave today (about lunchtime) and then we have our next lot arriving either this afternoon or tomorrow (hopefully I'll get enough time to whip around and clean up - again).

We had a lovely weekend and the weather was perfect so we basically BBQ'ed the whole weekend apart from going out to lunch yesterday (this was when the wine got drunk).

The next visitors are my in-laws which means I'm going to have to put all of my focus into entertaining them. I haven't seen these one's (due to a falling out) for nearly 5 years so I think things will be a bit strained.

Jo and Jenny - you ladies rock and are doing FANTASTICALLY!

Right since I am in the study and this is where our visitors stay, I'd better get the bed changed and remade *sigh*.

Day 4 (of 14)

Going great guns here, shakes are still yum and the water is getting easier to drink but the toilet stops are still the same - heaps.

Had a few visitors yesterday so didn't manage to get on the treadmill and haven't again this morning but am definately getting on later today (again waiting on a visitor to arrive).

Last night I had another huge salad (I really don't get sick of them AT ALL) and added a couple of bits of feta cheese - yum. I didn't have any eggs to add (hence the cheese) and the boys ended up having sausages, chips and baked beans (yuk!).

I think the thing I'm finding the hardest at the moment is coffee, I am usually a 6 cup a day girl but have been trying to only have 3 maximum and without sugar. I don't mind it THAT much without the sugar but find the hardest thing is not putting it in as it is habit. I made one this morning to take to work and automatically put a teaspoon of sugar in and didn't realise until we were half way to work and I had a sip. I must admit it tasted very sweet to start with but I enjoyed it all the same.

I'm finding mid afternoon still the hardest time for me as I am getting peckish but the extra salad in the fridge has helped. As we live in the Hawkes Bay we have an abundance of beautiful, fresh, variety of fruit and my fruit bowl is full with nectarines, plums, apricots, apples, oranges and golden kiwifruit and I just want to eat it all but have decided not to indulge myself but stick to the plan (2 shakes plus I main meal of protein & salad/vege's) as it is only for 2 weeks and I am DYING to see what the results are.

Of course I jumped on the scales again this morning (I'm such a daily weigher) and they are down 800 grams bringing me to 1.8kgs in 3 days (long may it continue). I had an expectation of losing 2.5 - 3kgs if possible and this is still my goal but if things go better than that, well who am I to complain right?

My main focus is to make sure I do my treadmill and water as I think I have the eating side of it sorted.

Since its such a beautiful day here today I am going to get outside and potter around (after the visitors leave) and then go and get the weekly grocery shopping while the kids go to the neighbours for a 'tea party' (so cute).

Day 1 (of 14)

Day 1 over and done with and I did fantastically.

I drank ALL my water (2 litres) plus some and BOY did my bladder feel it PLUS I think I did enough exercise just running to the toilet and back without needing anymore.

BUT I did unhook the ole' treadmill and managed a brisk 20 minute walk which nearly killed me (boy its been a long time) and I felt elated afterwards.

My eating was also brilliant and I had my morning shake about 9.15am and then my lunch shake around 1pm. By dinner time I was absolutely starving and managed to polish off the remaining huge salad and tiny bit oflasagna from last night which was (again) yummy.

Jumped on the scales this morning and was happy to see a kilo gone, so I'm hoping to double that (at least) by the end of the week.

Today's plan:
More treadmill (either longer or a faster speed)
All my water (look out bladder)
2 x shakes (not a problem)
Either chicken or Steak for dinner

I have also made up a huge salad that is sitting in the fridge for when I get hungry (as well as for my dinner) as I found that I was really hungry late afternoon as well as first thing in the morning. I just looked at my watch and it is 9.45am and I haven't had my 1st shake yet which is leaving it way too late, so I will have to work on having that earlier.

We have more guests staying Saturday and Sunday and then more arriving Monday for either 2 or 3 days. This makes 'things' difficult when having to cook for other people and try to explain to them why I'm either not eating (what they are) or why I'm having a shake etc and then listen to their opinion on it all (which I can do without but sit there smiling and listening).

Be back tomorrow.

Shake, shake, shake, shake a shake it

Right that's the 1st day out of the way, didn't drink all of my water but enjoyed my shakes and had the most delious salad last night with roasted pine nuts (yummmmmmm).

Since going to weight watchers ALL those years ago, I have managed to pick up great recipe's for salad's and must admit that I can make a pretty 'mean' salad now which I completely enjoy and rarely need anything else to go with it. We had lasagne as well last night and I had maybe a quarter the amount I usually have and double the amount of salad.

I didn't get my treadmill unhooked - hangs head in shame - BUT I did enough housework to more than make up for the 30 minutes I had planned.

My darling hubby took the kids for a long bike ride and then to his cousins for a swim in their pool and they would have been away for at least 3 hours, so I got stuck into the housework (worked up quite a sweat) and then shot into town to get some office supplies.

I found that to be a perfect day as I spent time with the kids in the morning but then had my own time in the afternoon and got stuff done (supplies etc).
I am SO OVER these school holiday's and even though the kids have been good, they and myself are ready for them to go back to school and we have 3 weeks to go argh!

I'll leave you with a photo of my boys in their 'tent' they made in the lounge room and one of the 'other half' at Cape Kidnappers golf course, he said it was breathtaking.

Shakes

These are the shakes I take (this is a picture of the fat burner tablets but the image is the same on the shakes), they come in Vanilla, Banana, Berry and Chocolate and are yummy.......yes you read it right, I actually like the taste of them and there's no other shake out there that I can say that about.

I mix it with 250mls trim milk (or half milk, half water) and they cost approx. $22 for a tub which usually lasts me 2 weeks.

Weigh in

103.1kgs which is a loss of 600grams not the kilo I was looking for but (here comes the excuses) its THAT time of the month and I have been known to put on up to a kilo so I figure I have actually lost over a kilo.....hahahahaha gotta love that logic!

I'm just really happy its a loss but still have FULL INTENTIONS of losing that 5 kilo's before Mummy dearest gets here.

I am doing the shake thing more seriously for the next two weeks as I have a very good friend I am supporting (how is also doing it) and I don't want to let her down plus it is only going to benefit me as well so its gotta be a good thing.

HERE WE GO MATE!!!!!!!!!!

I had a quiet weekend and didn't do a hell of a lot which was bloody lovely I tell ya.
The only visitors I had was the neighbour who popped over for a coffee and her son on Saturday night for a sleepover (didn't even know he was here).

Andrew has been training up a relief driver as our current on hasn't been able to work due to his wife being VERY ill and Andrew hasn't had a day off in about 2 months and the cranky little bugger needs one.

The kids have been brilliant and after being kicked off the playstation 3 days in a row for fighting (after only about 10 minutes) they have now learnt to play with each other without fighting....LOL

Plan for today is to do my paperwork (approx 2 - 3 hours) then have a shake, do at least 20 minutes on my treadmill (after unhooking it and plugging it in - won't know what hit it *smile*), do something with the kids (hopefully outdoors) another shake for lunch and then a nice steak and salad for lunch - all while drinking 2 litres of water *phew*. I'll let you know how I did tomorrow, wish me luck.

Instant Motivation!!

Well I have finally found how to get instant motivation when I'm feeling downhearted.......PUT ON LAST YEARS SWIMSUIT!!!!!!!

BOY THAT DID IT.

Thank god I was at a relatives house because it wasn't a pretty sight.
I've never really been a pretty sight in a swimsuit but this was grotesque. I instantly drank gallons of water and have started back on my shakes......hahaha.

It has been stinking hot here in the sunny Hawkes Bay and I am definately feeling it. The lethargic, excess sweating, chaffing its all back and it ain't pretty people!

So I've gotten my head back in the game and decided to set myself a mini goal.
My Mum gets here in the middle of February (34 days to be exact) which gives me 5 weeks to shed a few kilo's. I have decided to set the bar high and WILL lose 5 kilo's before she come's and if I have she is going to buy me a piece of clothing that I want (might have to be a new swimsuit...LOL).

The weight I want to hit (to achieve my goal) is 98.7kg (yay baby - back in double figures) and I am VERY POSITIVE that I can do it.

I am really loving being back online and reading everyone's blogs again, I've really missed reading what everyone is up to. I really find it helpful to read and hear about all the ups and downs other people are going through which makes me feel a little more 'normal' (wrong word but its the only one I can think of).

Right its stinking hot here and I'm off to hang another load of washing out as well as get the kids off the playstation and outside before they kill each other.

Hmmmmmm

Trying to get back into 'it' once there has been a couple of weeks off ISN'T EASY.

I weighed in at 103.7kgs on Monday morning which was a lose off 200gms. I only managed 2 shakes last week and overindulged with too much wine, cheese and biscuits, takeaways etc.

We have had guests staying (which left yesterday) which makes cooking and eating a challenge plus the weather has been friggin amazing (going to be another 30+ today) and all we want to do is drink water (excellent!) then later in the evening drink wine (not excellent) and then eat late (not great when you go to bed at 8.30pm).

Our next lot of visitors don't arrive until 22nd Jan so that gives me 2 weeks to get back into a healthly routine of eating and drinking.
I must admit I really enjoyed the 'shakes' that 1st week and instantly felt better within a week (if only you could bottle that feeling eh?).

Plan for today is, take the kids to the local park and meet up with a friend and her kids. Then our cousin is coming over the pick up the goggles and shorts I managed to take from her house by mistake yesterday after we had finished having a swim in her pool (bliss!).
Then we have to meet up with the boss from Tip Top who is up from Wellington for our bi-annual catch-up (hopefully in a pub or cafe where it is cool) and then come home and crash. I just turned around from where I am sitting and looked at my treadmill which I will unhook and plugin today as well. Tonight I think is the best time once it cools down a bit.

My sister brought me a singlet top thing for Xmas and I baulked at it when I opened it because I NEVER EVER EVER wear a singlet top (my arms are massive) but she said it was so hot up here and all I had (that fits at the moment) are black t-shirt, polo shirts which are just plain stupid, so I put the thing on to please here and it was really cool so I took myself down to 'he Warehouse' and got a couple more.
The only thing I have to do now is get a tan on the upper arms as they are lilly white and look very weird.

Ok I'd better get these kids organised if I'm going to the park this morning,
hope everyone is still on holiday's having a fabulous time (not I).

2nd day into the New Year and I'm knackered!

Well I was a 'Nanna' and was in bed by 9pm on New Year's Eve. Unfortunately we are a 7 day a week business and don't get New Years off, so had to start work at 3am (as per normal) which means an early night.
I had my niece, nephew and great nephew still here which was nice and they said it was the best New Years Day (no hang over) they can remember ....... hahahaha

I made one New Year's resolution 3 years ago which I have kept which was "Never make another New Year's resolution again"......if I made anything different I wouldn't have stuck to it and only gotten myself depressed so why bother??

We have our house back today for a whole 2 days before the next lot of visitors arrive (sister, brother-in-law and nephew) for 3 days so we don't get much of a break PLUS Andrew hasn't had a day off in 5 weeks and I haven't had one off in 3 weeks.....blimey!

The high's and low's of owning your own business I guess.

My food has been a bit off but I'm not too concerned as there has been lots of water being drunk and salad's being eaten...mmmmm. Weigh in on Monday will tell.

The kids have been quite good but FOREVER want the neiboughs kids over here. They are generally good kids but I hate the responsibility of looking after kids constantly and mine never want to go there *sigh*. God I'm moaning today....sorry, I'll stop now!

Mum is visiting in February from Oz and I can't wait to get my 'Allure' perfume that she always gets me through Duty Free as mine is all but gone.

I'm still amazed that this time last year the kids and I were looking forward to visiting Mum and Andrew was staying back to work as he was 'the last on' at Tip Top (Sales Rep then) and had to work. We had NO INTENTION of moving (house or city) or changing career's, giving up my job (over 20 years at) and look at us now!!!

New city, new house, new schools (for the kids), new friends, new business and we are over the moon and just love it.

Right I'm going to end on that note and pop over to see what you gals have been up to.

Wanna - pls email me as I can't get on your blog (let the invite run out - sorry).

Cherrio