These 4 words made me come crashing down to earth, they were spoken by my 5 year old which he innocently asked me yesterday on the way home from school.
It instantly brought tears to my eyes (as its doing now) because my "wake up" call to lose weight was when he was about 9 months old and at 126.3kgs I couldn't stay on the floor and play with him because I was overweight and everything ached (knees, stomach etc) and I vowed that I would lose this weight and never have him or his mates (tease him at school about a fat mother) think I was fat and what's happened???
Damn it, damn it!!!!!!!
I think I am more upset than angry by the fact that I decided to lose the weight and here I am 6 years later 29.5kgs lighter but still grossly overweight and pissing around when I could have been at goal YEARS ago if I had just stuck to the programme.
Well all I can say is - if THAT wasn't a wake up call, nothing was. I REFUSE to have my kids embarrased by me and from today (15/3/07) I am going to do what it takes to get this layer of flubber OFF ME!!!
I am going to put myself first for a god damn change and do what it takes. If I decide to exercise and there is something else on - TOO BAD - someone else can change their plans for me instead of me always changing my plans.
I have 34.6kgs still to lose to get to goal and I am giving myself to the end of the year to do it. I know there are a few of you who are shaking your heads and saying that I shouldn't be putting a time limit on it and extra pressure but I am a person who works to goals and loves a challenge and this is a challenge that I intend to keep.
41 weeks until Xmas which means I need to lose an average of just under 900grams a week..............WOW that's quite alot ay? It doesn't matter, I WILL DO IT.
WATCH THIS SPACE.........
7 comments:
Felt for you when I read this post. While you are disappointed and upset you haven't got to where you want - remember and just try to imagine what you would maybe like by now if you hadn't made the attempt. Probably a lot bigger than 126 ks! It's great you are going to put yourself first and set yourself a challenge to get to where you want. You sound on fire and we'll be here to give you all the support you need!
Remember too that what comes out of kid's mouths is all innocence and those little boys of yours love you for what you are.
I too wanted to lose weight so my littlies wouldn't be embarrased by having a fat mummy.... but Rachel, you are not fat now, just a bit chubby... don't let it get to you too much babe, you are doing really really well on your mission to your goal. Look at your really fat photos again and then look in the mirror, you look wonderful! Tell that boy of yours you are not fat, just cuddly ... and he loves you no matter what, you know that eh?
I agree with Chris H... you are not fat now just chubby and you have come so far hun... that in itself is fantastic.
But I can so understand how upset you were when you heard your son say that. I had the same thing with my youngest and he didn't realise it hurt so much and it did and that was after losing 30 kilos but I am happier now and they know that and have commented that I play with them more and I just have to keep with it.
You can do whatever you put your mind to hun and I am there for you no matter what.
Love ya
Big hugs
Chubbymum
That would upset me too, even if I knew it was true. You have come so far and you are doing great, not just with getting yourself healthy, but your kids too.
hmmm 900gms a week... thats a bloody big ask girl...
But you know we are all here to help you along...
Heres to getting to goal by start of 2008... omg that sounds so far away...but it isnt hey...
Rach, you are not fat and look how far you have come. you look great and trust me, that's just kids, i'll bet he's not being teased, he's probably just heard someone say the word and is trying it out.
sorry you feel hurt i know that feeling, Gabriel one of Daniels friends told Daniel that i was fat and that i was mean because i was fat. (i told him off for punching Daniel) Daniel told him that he was a rude, ill mannered little boy (we'd been watching pride and prejudice and yes he used those exact words lol) and that noone is fat and everyone was beautiful.
so don't worry, kids are just kids and yours love you and will love you regardless! you're not a number Rach, you're you and that's why your family love you and why we love you!
hugs!!!
xx
you've come a long way...and you'll get there.
remember these are the moments that will make being at goal soo much sweeter. at the end of this year you'll tell that story with a smile and a laugh and say LOOK AT ME NOW!!
you've done an awesome job and kids are kids. i've had that story plus a few more - just be glad it wasnt around 30 other children or parents...hazards of being an over weight teacher.
you'll get there....write that story down..dont delete your blog and you will see you transform into the person you long to be!!
Post a Comment